Frequently Asked Questions


Which countries do you ship to?

We ship to every country in the world. But if you live outside the UK, Europe or USA please get in touch with your zip code to ask us for a shipping price. We will then get the best available price for you. For USA, UK and Europe we have already set the shipping prices at checkout.

How long will delivery take?

We've shipped lots of orders to many different countries. Once the item is ready to be dispatched it takes typically 1-2 working days for delivery within the UK, 5-7 working days for Europe and the USA. Outwise of these areas, we cannot say for sure but we've never had a customer wait longer than 14 days to Asia or te middle east.

For more detailed ordering and delivery details please visit our delivery info page.

Will I pay Import Customs & Duties when the table arrives in my country?:

If your country charges import duties or taxes on items you buy outside your country, you are responsible for paying these. You pay for the cost of the goods and delivery to us directly but if there are any import duties you need to pay these locally upon arrival.

As we are based in the UK there will be ni import duties for UK orders.

Good news! There are no import duties and taxes if you are ordering from the USA.

We know that some countries in the EU do charge import duties when having items delivered from the UK but some customers have told us they didn't get charges anything and it arrived to their homes without any extra costs added.

Can I come visit the workshop and view before I buy?

I am sorry we no longer offer that facility. We now only sell online. However we are in the process of making a directory of professionals around the world who offer services on our milking tables so you can try before you buy that way if you wish.

Is the packaging discreet?

Yes, the package does not say what's inside and nobody will know you have just purchased this amazing piece of furniture!

Can I store the items easily or do I need a lot of space?

The portable model folds away and can be stored under the bed or in the wardrobe or closet. Or you can leave it folded inside it's carrying case and placed anywhere you want, it doesn't take up much space. And when set up it doesn't take up much space in a bedroom, living room or hotel room.

The stationary model is larger. It comes with the legs detached and you attach them to use the table. Most customers buy them and have them set up permanently but you can detach the legs when you want and store the table top under a bed in the bedroom or in a large closet or storage room.

Do the milking tables come already assembled?

The portable model requires no assembly and set sup in seconds once you open it.

The stationary model needs about 10 minutes to attach the legs. It's very easy and straight forward.

How can I clean and take care of my bed?

If properly cared for, your milking table’s upholstery will stand up to vigorous sessions for years to come and in most cases will last a lifetime.
If you are a professional using the milking table multiple times per day, To make sure your milking table has a long, sexy life we advise you to follow the following advice.

Be sure and keep it out of direct sunlight and extremes of warmth and cold. Prolonged exposure to direct sunlight and extreme temperatures will dry out your table’s upholstery over time - causing it to crack and the color to fade. Don’t store it in the attic for example where it can get very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter.

Never neglect your table, if you use the milking table a lot, consider protecting it with comfortable fitted couch covers or sheets. You can buy ready made couch covers in cotton or other material and then make a new hole for the glory hole. If you are a home user you can simply use a scissors but if you are a professional give the covers to a local seamstress or sewing person and they will make a really nice neat hole for you. You can then wash the cover after each client and use a new one for each client. That way your table stays clean and protected from any harsh cleaning chemicals as everything gets left on the sheets. The sheets will shield your table from oil degradation and other stains. Most of our professional customers do this and also many of our home users. You can also have the couch covers or sheets embroidered with your logo or name or whatever you like.
Over the years of use if you do have accidental damage to the upholstery you can buy specific repair patches like these.
These products mentioned are in the UK and we have no affiliation with the companies who sell them. If you are living outside the UK you will be able to find similar products in your own country.

How much more can I earn as a professional with a milking table?

Our customers give us great feedback on their new tables and we've learned a lot through them. Milking table services are in high demand. Clients of professional pay a large premium for professionals offering milking table services. Typically in the USA 1 hour  on the bed will cost over $500 and in the UK over £300. That means in 2 sessions you have the portable milking table paid for already and around 3-4 sessions for the stationary model. These tables really do pay for themselves.
And if you're a client paying for professional services, getting one for your home and having playdates with new partners on the table will save you a lot of money!
Either way we know from experience, you're in for a wild time!

If you have questions we haven't answered above, please use the contact form on the About us page to send us your questions! Don't be shy! We look forward to serving you.